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 Post subject: recent reviews of the boat were going on
PostPosted: Sun Jan 04, 2004 4:19 am 
first one from: ... y_~reviews

looks like we are booked on the cheapest boat they could find, which means theyre making a killing since its almost $1000 per person for a 4 day cruise. I've seen 2 day cruises for $179, so it seems we are paying twice as much.

This review is only from 3 weeks ago, and it is doing the same FL>bahamas route

Pros: Food & staff
Cons: Everything but the food and the staff.

This was my first cruise and will probably be my last! I found it on the internet and the price was great and the website looked good. It left from Ft. Lauderdale and went to the Bahamas. It was a two night cruise - thank God it wasn't longer. I should have known that the price was to good to be true - there had to be something wrong. The ship was built sometime in the 1950's and it doesn't look like it has changed much since. The more I walked around the worse it got. The ship smelled and our room was terrible. The food and the service were okay. The staff really does try hard to make sure that everyone has a good time but for me it just wasn't going to happen on that ship. The number of announcements made over the PA system was ridiculous. I thought I would scream if I heard another one. My only advice to to remember that you really get what you pay for - STAY AWAY.


heres another recent bahamas cruise, in july:


Mark D. Kapoh

Age: 38
Occupation: Law Enforcement
Number of Cruises: 1
Cruise Line: Regal Cruises
Name of Ship: Regal Empress
Sailing Date: July 30th, 2003
Itinerary: 3 day cruise to Nassau, Bahamas

My family and I found the Regal Empress to be in need of general repairs.

Many of the ceiling panels were miss-aligned, missing screws, or sagging; much of the hardware, hinges, door knobs, locks, etc. seem to have been jury-rigged out of a junk box. The teak decking was in need of sanding and varnish, and the elevator was so slow as to be useless. The tacky looking wall paper had been hand accented with little swirls of paint using an artists brush and was UGLY. Overall, the appearance of the ship did not foster a great deal of trust in it's past maintenance and current seaworthiness.

I admit that I am a 'landlubber' and these little details may not really affect the ability of the crew or vessel to bring me and family to our destination and back safely. However, I found that these annoying little things kept me from seeing the Regal Empress and her crew as true professionals and a top rate line.

I have described the Regal Empress to friends as seeming to perform a two-fold mission for the Regal Cruises (aside from the cruise itself): screening and training crew members to eventually graduate to top of the line ships and/or lines (kind of like minor league baseball teams for Major league baseball teams), or as a dumping ground for has-been employees that function on the discount lines, but couldn't cut it on a top rate line.

I found some of the crew to be impatient and curt with inexperienced passengers (like me and my family) to the point of being rude. When I asked a crew member where the Upper deck was he did not make eye contact with me as he climbed the stairs past us (that stupid elevator never worked). He just grunted and made a barely discernable gesture to the rear (of him or the ship, we couldn't tell). He walked right through a hatch marked "Crew Only" and disappeared. We walked down the stairs and found that he was wrong; we needed to go UP two decks.

On the other hand, some of the hospitality crew was excellent and spoke excellent English. Also, the excursions were well worth the expense by saving time and trouble to maximize your stay in Nassau.

The food was acceptable and our cabin (U-92) was spacious when compared to our first cabin somewhere in the bowels of the A deck.

One thing about our cabin: the intercom was incredibly loud when announcements were being made by the hospitality staff. Especially at 1030-1100 pm at night when you have young ones attempting to sleep. But oddly enough, important things like the mandatory life-boat muster were inaudible. By chance, we decided to wander up to the deck to watch the ship cast off and depart. A crew member asked us why we didn't have our lifejackets and sent us back down to retrieve them. This problematic and unnecessarily loud PA system remained an annoying occurrence throughout the cruise. And no one likes to be jarred out of deep REM sleep by some crew member hawking the pleasures of bingo, then hearing the same announcement belted out again in Spanish like crazed carnival barkers.

All in all, my wife and I decided never to set foot on the Regal Empress again.


another one from august:

Age: 27
Occupation: Teacher
Number of Cruises: 1
Cruise Line: Regal Cruises
Name of Ship: Regal Empress
Sailing Date: August 2nd, 2003
Itinerary: Bahamas

As we pulled into Port Everglades in Fort Lauderdale, Florida, my attention was immediately drawn to the Princess Cruise Liner. How I hoped that was the ship we would be boarding, as this cruise was a gift and we had little details. Much to my dismay, our ship, the Regal Empress, was directly to the right. It looked as if 4 of the Regal Empresses could have fit on the Princess.

We filled out our forms, had our luggage checked by a most unpleasant young man, and boarded the ship. We were immediately handed a Bahama Mama, the cruises signature drink, and herded off to our room.

The room left a lot to be desired. It smelled of moldy carpet, but the room was grand compared to the bathroom. I am 5 feet tall and weigh 115 and still had trouble getting ready into the bathroom. The shower was so small, I could barely turn around. Needless to say, my usual long, enjoyable showers turned into 5 minute rinse offs.

The rooms were not the worst of it though. The food on the ship won top prize for the worst cruise experience. Each afternoon, sandwiches were offered with all the condiments. This was all very reminiscent of summer camp. I guess I just don't think of a bologna sandwich as being pampered. Dinner, however, was made very enjoyable by our attentive waiter Yassig. The food was good, but not as spectacular as I had hoped. Breakfast was almost as bad as the afternoon sandwiches. I read about the freshly made doughnuts, but never experienced that delicacy.

Finally, the entertainment. Well... it was very comparable to the rest of the cruise. To say it was mediocre is being incredibly generous.

Thank goodness we have friends that have actually been on REAL cruises. If we had not heard what a real cruise is like, our first cruise would probably be our last.


 Post subject: apples vs. oranges?
PostPosted: Sun Jan 04, 2004 7:13 am 

Joined: Fri Dec 19, 2003 4:57 am
Posts: 105
how can you compare this to a typical cruise? there are 12 or 13 top notch bands playing 2 or more shows each, during 4 days in tropical seas and interesting harbors. regardless of the lack or presence of luxury, i really appreciate having this music festival on such a cool setting. at most festivals, there are long lines for showers, if they even have them. here we have nice beds, private baths, and even a pool, and casino! i hope you'll be just as quick to post about what a great time you had, once we return, unless you are the sort who always finds what's wrong with a situation, while missing what's so right. i don't mean to sound harsh, but why not try to make this a good time, especially since you've already spent your money? you might just be pleasantly surprised.

 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Jan 04, 2004 7:25 am 

Joined: Tue May 20, 2003 12:21 pm
Posts: 65
^that and all those people had never been on a cruise before

 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Jan 04, 2004 11:15 am 
Geez Guy........... I bet you're a ton of fun to be with. Listen son, do you realize whats about to happen in a few days?? I really do not care about the fricken wall paper, doors, or if a crew member says "hi" or not.
The fact is this boat is going to have some of our favorite bands on it, in the most unreal setting you will ever see. Particle, Claypool, KDTU, Galactic, DB etc....on the main stage under the fricken stars on a bow of a boat. C'mon guy........reality grip here, this will be the most amazing shit you have seen.
Please, do not try to bring anybody down with your opinions from conservative families who's fathers work too much and hate their wives and couldn't have fun if they tried. I can not wait to put my post on e-pinions about the boat. It will go something like this:

"Everyone needs to go on this boat! They have the best wall paper to look at while your mind is expanding. I had the munchies all day, and everytime I turned around man, they had food for me. I met some of the nicest people on Earth on this boat. It was weird, everyone except one guy on the boat was full of postive things to say....

 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Jan 04, 2004 11:29 am 
Site Admin
User avatar

Joined: Thu May 15, 2003 4:53 pm
Posts: 1026
Whoever started this SILLY post is really going to be surprised once we get on the boat.

The Regal Empress is PERFECT for what we are going to do.

It's intimate, it's sized JUST right, it's not brand new, which is JUST what we want for this event, i mean, please, hippies can get way out of hand, the food is FINE, we ate ALL of it when we went in October, the rooms are CUTE, and SO much more. Oh, we won't be making announcements early in the morning in case any of you choose to sleep. :)

And if you even THINK that we booked this cruise so we could make money, you're HIGHLY mistaken and you surely better lose that attitude before you get on the boat because there is no place for it.

That being said..........

SEE YOU IN TWO DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can't wait.

Love, Julie

 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Jan 04, 2004 11:32 am 

Joined: Thu Nov 20, 2003 7:00 pm
Posts: 7
Location: mass
oh who really gives a crap what the boat looks like? i'd much rather spend my time on a floating Super 8 listening to high quality music for four days than be freezing my ass off up here in the north!!!!!!

 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Jan 04, 2004 11:42 am 
User avatar

Joined: Fri May 23, 2003 11:18 am
Posts: 45
Location: Charleston
who invited the fun sponge? I don't give a crap if the ceiling tiles are out of place or the wallpaper is ugly. It probably won't be to me half the time anyway. The boat is only the venue. It's all about the!! My girlfriend and I are in St. Augustine right now making our way to Ft. Lauderdale tomorrow. 8) 8)

See you on the seas.

To be well-adjusted to an insane culture is to be insane

 Post subject: review
PostPosted: Sun Jan 04, 2004 1:23 pm 
Alright, I am from NY - and its cold here. I truly don't care about nasty wallpaper or a "non-elegant" experience.
I, first of all, want to get away from NY into warm environment (we can't wait to be able to put our windows down in the car)
Second of all, if I wanted an "elegant experience" I would have paid big bucks to cruise on a "well-know" cruise line.
Third, I have been to many-a-festival and any bed/bathroom combination - along with free food all day is a blessing to any hippy.
Come on now, if your not on this cruise for the music, then you better sell your tickets now.
Thats my 2 cents.
damn pessimistic people ;)

 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Jan 04, 2004 1:27 pm 
User avatar

Joined: Tue May 20, 2003 7:20 pm
Posts: 389
Location: Georgia
I sincerely hope that no one harshes my buzz on this trip complaining about the wallpaper pattern!!!

It's all what you make it, people.

All you fun, happy, optimistic music/party lovers are more than welcome to share my space!!!!

Leaving here in a few minutes with a load of Jam Cruise I & II posters on board and we'll see you kind folks at The Culture Club tomorrow nite!!!

Peace out,

 Post subject: My opinion
PostPosted: Sun Jan 04, 2004 1:55 pm 
Lets find this party pooper and make him "Walk The Plank". I couldn't care less what malcontents have to say about some miserable adventure with blue haired passengers. Even if we were on the USS Minnow straight form it's three hour tour, this would still be an epic event. I can't wait Julie I can't wait to meet you and personally thank you for all the work you have done., and just so you know we will be the ones with the coolest door on the ship.

Thank you and best of luck on Jam Cruise I, I will see you on JC II


 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Jan 04, 2004 2:49 pm 
Anyway one else wanna help me paint more little swirls on the tacky looking wallpaper? :lol:

Just kidding Julie! Gear is packed, and I'm actually considering leaving today for the port (originally tomorrow) just to get my groove on early!

AyE CaRrAmBa!!!

(Kill this thread now!

 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Jan 04, 2004 5:06 pm 

Joined: Tue May 20, 2003 12:21 pm
Posts: 65
"i mean, please, hippies can get way out of hand"

hahahahha, that was hysterical Julie :P

 Post subject: seriously
PostPosted: Sun Jan 04, 2004 9:58 pm 
Think of what the floor looks like after a Disco Biscuits show - I think getting a crappy boat is the right way to do it, as the thing is gonna get trashed. Just hope the food is okay and the rooms don't stink.

 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Jan 05, 2004 8:25 pm 
I like how everyone has to rip apart this guy just for posting reviews of the peice of shit that we'll be cruising on. Hey, I don't care either, but I, for one, am glad he posted these actual reviews. Now I know what to expect so I won't be let down when I arrive in a shitty cabin. Don't shoot the messenger. guys are so quick to attack it's almost like you're worried about how this is going to turn out, and you need to go after this guy to help out your insecurity......hmmmm.
let's all just make the best of it.

 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Jan 05, 2004 9:41 pm 
I guess I said what I did because of my small privates :oops:
Listen guy, do you tell your kids or friends what you got them before x-mas really isn't nice and that you screwed them??

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